Left 2024 with a good feeling. Entered 2025 initially with optimism. But a week in, it's worn off. My attempt at strict discipline is a hit and miss so far. I need to learn to deal with variables and not be confused by them so much that they affect my clarity of thought.
At this point, I am struggling with a mountainload of tasks. Between the ELP presentation, general work stuff, and final weeks of classes with multiple overdue assignments, I'm not sure I can survive the avalanche of workloads coming my way. I wish I had a Quit button ready where I can push it and all my troubles will go away, even if that means all my progress so far goes too. If it did exist, I might have pushed that button a long time ago.
The only place I wanna be right now is at UKM and doing my studies. It is true what they say. Students wish that they could finish school so that they could start working and earning money and therefore living their lives, but workers wish they could go back to school and live the carefree life as a student again. I have the privilege of being a student and a worker at the same time. I can attest that the urge to leave work is still the same if not stronger. I wish I could be a student way more than a worker. If not for the YT loan, I would have probably quit it all a long time ago and gone back to school full-time. There's no shame in starting over for me anyway.
Maybe I should ramp up efforts to seek a job overseas that can pay me high wages. Maybe where I can work for 2 years and have enough in savings to settle all my loans and still have a big chunk left that I could put in EPF or any safe investment instruments paying a 5% p.a. I ballparked the figure at RM1.5million so that's like RM63k/mo which is rather impossible to earn at my level and in my role.
Nevertheless, it is a new year and it's customary to be optimistic, at least even remotely. It is a time to be looking forward to something. So here's what I look forward to this year - I want to Quit and live a solitary life. However long and hard it may take.
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