Job Interview

Had an interview today for an internal opening.

Took a half day leave even though it's just an interview at the same company.

Interview started at 1430 hrs and lasted the full 30 mins. I was up against 3 panels. One from the Human Capital, another was the GM, COO's office and his executive officer.

After the customary introduce yourself question, came the hard part. They asked me what was the toughest problems I had so far in my current role (which is also on acting basis, btw) and what I've done to overcome them.

"Communication improvement"

"Driving and listening to staff's problems openly and honestly"

And of course, no mention that we actually had a manpower backup from another department because I worried in admitting so, he'd see me as being too dependent on the easy fix (adding manpower) which is counter to what the management is overall trying to do - optimising manpower and improving processes.

I tried so hard to say things my bosses would like to hear to the point I was basically lying. I felt dirty. 

The GM was not amused. He knew too well how it goes in our department and called me out as saying the same thing he's heard from other people in the department.

I honestly didn't know exactly what to say. He also asked me if I would be open to talk about the actual problems my department is facing, and I foolishly said I would, but in the right forum.

The long and short of it, I blew it. No creative answers and answers that sound too dodgy.

I desperately need a new job, to the point that I state upfront to any potential suitor that I'd be fine with taking home less than what I do now. But today has been a sobering moment.

Not only I realise now I am utterly unprepared for a new role, I'm also starting to see that I may not have done enough in my current role. I can't quantify what I do, no clear goal be it daily or weekly or monthly, and also I can't exactly put in clear terms what I have achieved.

This is such a bad way to start the weekend.