I remember starting this blog back in May 2011. I was living with my batch mates in that 3 bedroom apartment in Kelana Jaya. Paradigm Mall was under construction and opened some months later.
In 2011, the blog scene was still pretty much alive. Almost every friend I knew had a blog. Many did it to earn some bucks, some others just used it for social media. Yeap, social media used to be Facebook and blogs, mainly. People would pour out their thoughts, feelings, and share their life and love. In a way, it helped people articulate what's in their minds and hearts into words. Then, Twitter and Instagram started to gain traction and so began the age of microblogging and the decline of (macro-?) blogging. Much later we had Youtubers doing vlogs and now we have Tiktokkers doing stupid things for fun. Wait a minute.. have we regressed?
By the way, Kelana Jaya was my second dwelling in Selangor. The first was Ara Damansara, specifically Sri Ara Apartment. Seven of us lived in a cramped, 3 bedroom apartment and we had to be in our beds by 11pm every day which was super ridiculous for a bunch of late-teen adults teeming with energy and the spirit to rebel. But then again, our training centre was run by the ex-Air Force folks so discipline, or an appearance of it, was the mantra. It was stupid tho, seriously, we had roll-calls every morning and evening and kawad kaki every Saturday - attendance mandatory! Let's be honest, nobody there signed up for military service. To this day, I still hate the Air Force (and to some extent, the military) due to that bad experience. Things only got a whole lot better when we complained about amongst other things, the subpar living conditions, that our sponsor took notice and got us out of there and gave us the unit at Kelana Sentral Apartment.
In 10 years, a lot have happened. I've moved for another 5 times since then. Now I live in Sepang, got a decent job (2015), my own car (2020), although I still haven't settled down on my own place, but I am working on that.
About the only thing that hasn't changed is my relationship status. This year will mark the 29th year of me being in ZERO relationship. That's right, I've been single my whole life. And before people tell me that it's okay to be single, to be on our own etc, I disagree. Being single is not a choice that anybody would make on their own volition, not less me. You hear people say that because they have gone through it long enough that they've become conditioned to it and surrendered and then tried to rationalise it (the "love yourself" movement, etc). At least that's why I think, because I'm not giving up on this anytime soon. It makes me feel worse every time I feel down and mopey and there is nobody to pick me up or give their shoulders for me to cry on. IT SUCKS AND MAKES ME AWFUL. But what can I do? Already I've got pals my age who are also single, telling me that this is our fate, to accept it and that they've accepted it and every time, I have to defy them and tell them that this cannot be our life.
Over the years, I have mentioned here the few instances of girls I have met and became infatuated with. When I say few, that is true, there is very few people that I've ever become attracted to. It's extremely rare for a person to catch my attention or make me catch feelings for. And this is perhaps the problem that I need to deal with. Maybe I need to re-calibrate my expectations (this is serious BTW, I really need to start seeing people).
Sorry to digress. (Is anyone even reading? :laughs:)
Coming back to the topic, yes, I intend to keep this blog updated.
I read my past posts and a lot of them sound a lot more stupid than when I wrote them, some don't even have structure and the rest are ridden with grammatical errors. But who cares, right? I'm not writing for the Pulitzer here.
Kids these days probably do not know blogspot and wordpress and how big they once were. That's just the passage of time. That's the way we live. Things change. WE change. No way denying or stopping that.
I only hope that good things will happen soon. Who knows, next time I write this, I'd be doing it with my loved one by my side? Or maybe, on the cusp of a much needed career move? Or maybe, from my own house? We can always wish that change, however inevitable, will always be the better for us right?
And as I said, I will keep reporting what's going on. Hoping that Google doesn't pull the plug on blogspot in the near future. Or else, catch me on TikTok.
Till the next one.
p/s: I am trying very hard to woo this girl at work. Work AND love? It IS extremely complicated, I know. But any kind soul who happens to be reading this, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. :)
